Thursday, January 19, 2006

Oh Theo

So Theo Epstein is going back to the Red Sox, thus adding another chapter to the least interesting baseball story from the offseason. Is Theo staying? Is Theo going? What did Theo say? Theo this, Theo that. Who cares? Would the media stop trying to make this into the baseball equivalent of Brad, Jennifer, and Angelina's love triangle? I'm half expecting photos of Theo on the beach with the caption "Theo's on vacation...but that's not Larry Luchino he's with!" Anyway, the article has some great quotes about Epstein's return, check them out:

"[Epstein's] return had been rumored almost since the day he slipped out of Fenway Park wearing a borrowed gorilla costume to avoid the media." - WTF??? I'm on top of most of the baseball news; somehow this nugget eluded me. That's bizzare. But I did some digging and got a better explanation. Epstein wasn't trying to elude the media. He was actually just on the way to his friend's wedding and was already dressed for the shtick.

""Ironically, Theo's departure has brought us closer together in many respects, [said Luchino]." Thus adding quote #45 making this seem like some twisted gay love story.

"'Larry's role does not change,' John Henry said. 'Details next week.'" Why the hell is John Henry talking like a news bulletin? No time to give us a complete sentence, John? Were you in such a hurry that you had to talk like the anchorman giving a promo for the 11 o'clock news?

I don't know what this does for the Red Sox. They already had a fairly complicated front office structure, and this obviously only complicates it further. Assuming that Luchino, Hoyer, and Cherington are all retaining their roles, where does Epstein fit in? And is he coming in with some understanding that he's going to be named the GM again at some point in the future? Perhaps they're bringing him in as the full-time Manny babysitter, handler, and trade demand negotiator. All very interesting. Except it isn't.

Before the Epstein news broke I was planning to discuss a few birthdays. I'm still going to do that, as I think there are a few interesting ones. Two players who inspired movies were born on this day. Jim Morris, the 35 year old rookie about whom "The Rookie" was made was born in 1964. A little less directly, Chick Gandil, the player ringleader of the Black Sox scandal, about which the great film Eight Men Out was made, was born in 1887. Oh, and Jack Parkman, whose shimmy inspired Major League 2, was born in 1965.

Jeff Juden was born in 1971. Remember him? Bounced around the majors in the '90s as both a starter and a reliever. I always felt that he should have been forced to pitch with a yellow star affixed to his uniform, but alas, they never did that.

Two Mets of note. Jon Matlack, 1972 rookie of the year, was born in 1950. And the great Anthony Young, he of the 593 straight losses, was born in 1966. By the way, take a look at Young's peripheral numbers during his 1992-93 losing streak. Not so terrible.

A guy named Merle Settilmire, who played in 1928, was born in 1903. I just think that's funny because it sounds like Mel Stottlemyre, and what are the odds that anybody would have had a name that sounds like Mel Stottlemyre?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Eric - I gotta say, I loved the Jeff Juden remark. Kind of ironic that Juden was about 6'7 with blonde hair - he actually had the build of a ...well, you know where I'm going with this. Another reason he should have to suffer public humilation is that the Tribe traded Steve Kline (ultra-reliable lefty) for his aryan ass. I'm out. Good blogging.

2:19 PM  

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